


a northern degree dove into me

by Cloudandus



Category: Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types, Green Lantern Corps (Comics)
Genre: Aftermath of Possession, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, GuyKyle Week 2020, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, oh look it's kyle's trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudandus/pseuds/Cloudandus
Summary: In the aftermath of his possession by Parallax, Kyle tries to cope. Thankfully, Guy is there.
Relationships: Guy Gardner/Kyle Rayner
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	a northern degree dove into me

**Author's Note:**

> For GuyKyle Week 2020 Day 6 - Parallax/Soulmates
> 
> Rereading Sinestro Corps War in preparation for writing this, I noticed two things:  
> 1) I directly quote a line from Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special. Canonically, Sinestro broke Kyle’s will by telling him that he had made Despotellis kill Kyle’s mother, and then asked him if he was afraid of what other loved ones would be killed by Sinestro because of Kyle’s dedication to the Guardians, who ‘don’t even know what love means’. Then Guy is infected by Despotellis. Sinestro canonically said ‘GUYKYLE RIGHTS’.
> 
> 2) In GLC #20, the direct aftermath issue, Guy goes to the wreckage of Warriors, which was destroyed when Guy’s Vuldarian DNA exploded or something during Rebirth, which took place at least a year ago. The comic is telling me that a bar in New York City ON BROADWAY stayed destroyed for more than a year. Who’s paying the rent? There’s broken glass everywhere! It couldn’t have been destroyed during the Sinestro War because the ending established that Guy and Kyle had finished repairing all the damage in Coast City and New York. This is honestly too much for my suspension of disbelief.
> 
> Title from “Ugly Side” by Blue October.  
> “A northern degree / dove into me / now I'm recovering…  
> I only want you to see / my favorite part of me / and not my ugly side”  
> I feel like it has a double significance: Kyle’s ‘Ugly Side’ isn’t just Parallax and the way it magnified all of his most negative traits, but also his trauma and PTSD, which Kyle wants to pretend he doesn’t have.

“Last chance to back out.” Guy said, almost managing to sound casual.

“I’m ready.” Kyle declared through gritted teeth, already in a fighting stance.

Kyle could see from the look in Guy’s eyes that he didn’t really believe him. No one did, and Kyle hated it so much that sometimes he felt like he was--

Anyway, Guy might have told him straight up that this was a terrible idea, but he had also promised that he wouldn’t stop Kyle from throwing himself into the deep end as long as he promised to let Guy fish him out if it turned out he couldn’t tread water. 

They had talked about what Guy should do if Kyle wasn’t as okay as he said he was. Guy had been skeptical, but he’d trusted Kyle to know what he needed.

Guy trusted him. Guy didn’t hate him. Guy was _alive._ They were going to spar hand-to-hand the same way they always did, and Kyle wasn’t going to have any problems.

Guy wasn’t starting the match. “Start?” Kyle asked.

Guy gave a sharp nod. Kyle ran at Guy straight on, veering to one side at the last second and trying to take out Guy’s ankles with a swipe of his leg. Guy sidestepped, then he was on Kyle with a flurry of quick jabs.

Kyle blocked with his arms, trying to get his feet back under him. Guy put so little force behind the blows that they barely even stung, but it was the same force Guy had always used when they sparred. Seeing as Guy’s punches were perfectly capable of breaking bones, even without the ring, Kyle didn’t resent Guy for going easy on him.

Guy was a tank, incredibly strong and durable. Most of his strength was focused in his upper body, and his weapons of choice were his fists or a construct he could put his whole body behind, like a bat or a crowbar. He got up close and personal during fights, absorbing his enemy’s attacks unflinchingly so he himself could attack hard and fast. 

He was also surprisingly fast and maneuverable for a man his size. Sometimes Guy took a running start and just slammed his entire body weight into enemies, like a charging bull. Kyle was relatively confident that it was a football move, but he didn’t know enough about sports to be sure. Thankfully, Guy only did that when they sparred with their rings, since he was pretty sure that a collision with all 200 pounds of Guy Gardner going at full speed would cause an unprotected Kyle severe injury. 

Unlike Guy, who was making steady progress in his dream of fist fighting every species of alien in the known galaxy, Kyle only fought hand to hand when he couldn’t use his ring. His style was focused on speed and flexibility, intended to get him out of a bad situation as quickly as possible. Kyle wouldn’t have a chance against Guy in a real fist fight, but the point of their hand-to-hand sparring wasn’t to see which one of them was better. Rather, it was to keep Kyle’s skills sharp for the next time his ring was somehow incapacitated.

When Guy punched, he put his entire body behind it. This made each hit potentially devastating, but also meant he needed longer to recover and make his next move. If Kyle could dodge, he would have the chance to get a hit of his own in.

He bided his time, dancing away from Guy and forcing him to pursue. They exchanged a handful of blows, the rhythm almost meditative. Then, Guy went for a right hook and Kyle jumped towards him instead of way, ducking under his arm and popping up behind him.

Guy tried to turn, but he wasn’t fast enough. Kyle was at his unprotected back and--

\--his claws sliced through Guy’s back deep enough to almost knick his spine.

Guy choked, and his arm slipped from around Sinestro’s throat. Kyle grabbed either side of his face, Guy’s own blood smearing on his cheek. And Parallax twisted, because he wanted Guy Gardner to die--

Kyle came back with his face pressed to the mat, shaking. Guy was kneeling above him, knees pressed to either side of Kyle’s chest as one gloved hand pinned him down by the shoulder and the other held both of Kyle’s wrists together in an iron grip.

Guy had asked Kyle what he should do if Kyle had a flashback to his time being possessed by Parallax. Kyle made Guy promise to restrain him, so he couldn’t hurt anyone. Guy had thought it would just make the episode worse, but Kyle promised he would feel better knowing he hadn’t had a chance to hurt someone while he wasn't in control of himself.

“I’ve got you, buddy.” Guy promised softly, and Kyle broke like glass.

At the first keening sob, Guy started trying to get off of him. “No no no, please, _Guy_!” Kyle begged, so Guy laid himself over Kyle’s back and held him as he shook with tears, pressing his forehead against the back of Kyle’s neck and whispering “I’m here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Kyle.”

Kyle wailed, shaking apart in Guy’s arms. Guy held him together, as best he could.

* * *

Parallax had wanted Guy dead because he was the only one he couldn’t convince Kyle to hate.

Hal was easy. Hal’s legacy as Parallax had hung over Kyle’s career like the Sword of Damocles. Everything he did, everything he was, was compared against the Maddest of the Green Lanterns, and found lacking.

Kyle wasn’t as powerful as Hal had been. Kyle couldn’t be trusted, because look what happened the last time they trusted a Green Lantern. Kyle was dangerously naive. Useless, stupid, a joke, _a mistake_.

Hal Jordan had repeatedly tried to destroy the universe, but somehow he was still the Greatest of the Green Lanterns. What was wrong with Kyle that he had ranked second to a traitor and a murderer?

He had held the resentment close to his chest, and let it fester.

Learning of Parallax’s true origins hadn’t changed anything. Sure, it changed his relationship with _Hal_ completely, but the weight of Parallax’s legacy on Kyle’s shoulders had never really been Hal’s fault to begin with.

No, it was other people who had looked at Kyle and seen Hal instead. Batman’s unwavering suspicion, tempered only by his belief that Kyle wasn’t good enough to be a threat. John, unable to hide how much he still respected Hal, even when talking to the person Parallax had repeatedly tried to kill. 

Guy had never let anyone get away with calling Hal Jordan the Greatest of the Green Lanterns. He was the only one Kyle had ever heard talk about Hal Jordan like he was an actual person instead of a devil or a martyr. Sometimes Kyle felt like Guy was the only person in the JLA that Kyle hadn’t had to prove himself to.

Over time, he gained the respect of the JLA and his fellow heroes. But he never forgot the way they had treated him. Parallax nurtured that resentment.

Most of the Green Lantern Corps treated Hal like a murderer, even knowing that he was possessed by Parallax. They were probably going to turn on Kyle too, once this was over. Parallax fed on that fear.

But Guy? There was nothing he felt for Guy that Parallax could grasp and twist until it became fear and hatred. Guy was going to forgive him. He’d spent the last two years refusing to blame Hal’s for things Parallax had done, and he’d spent the years before that refusing to blame Kyle for what they thought Hal had done.

Parallax tried to convince him that everyone was his enemy. Guy was proof that wasn’t true.

So Parallax was going to kill Guy and make Kyle watch.

He grabbed the three of them through the Central Power Battery. Hal he fought; Hal was the only one immune to Parallax’s possession at that point, so he was the biggest threat. John and Guy were trapped in their own worst nightmares. Kyle heard Guy screaming, high-pitched and reedy because he was a child again, suffering at the hands of his father.

The Lost Lanterns had come to Hal’s aid, but Parallax was only interested in one of them. Jack T. Chance’s nightmares were the same shape as Guy’s, and Parallax made sure Kyle had a front row view of the man’s last, terrified moments.

Hal escaped in the chaos, and freed Guy and John. Kyle felt hope so strong it burned, so Parallax hunted Guy down and tried to sever his spine. Then he tried to snap his neck.

He forgave everything Ion had done during his time possessing Kyle. He didn’t even care about the bizarre hallucinatory meeting with his non-existent father. That dumb space whale knocking Parallax over is the only reason Guy was still alive.

Kyle doesn’t want to think about where he’d be without Guy. Guy was the one who got his mother’s painting. He was the one who made Kyle construct underwear when he emerged from Parallax’s disgusting husk. 

He had stayed by Kyle’s side the whole time they helped rebuild Coast City and New York, sleeping on Kyle’s couch so he could wake him up from nightmares. He mocked Parallax’s hair and told him that nothing Parallax did was Kyle’s fault.

They moved to Oa together. They built a freaking bar together.

Sinestro had told him how he had murdered his mother, infected her with a living virus called Despotellis.

“Are you frightened of which one of your loved ones will perish _next_?” He had asked. “Perish because of your dedication to a group of Guardians who don’t even _know_ what love _means_?”

It wasn’t till after the fight, when they were debriefing among themselves, that Guy casually mentioned he had almost died of Despotellis while fighting the Anti-Monitor.

Somehow, Sinestro had known exactly where to aim to do the most damage. Guy almost died, and Kyle wouldn’t even had known until the dust had settled and he found Guy’s body under a white sheet with the rest of the casualties.

Guy was alive. But it had been so close.

And it was going to take some time for Kyle to be okay with that.


End file.
